Apocalypse Inside My Head

Why are people psychotic?
I've always managed to date crazy women. It's my curse. They start out great and you think you have something real but then the surface erodes and the true colors emerge. I've been single a long while now. My on again off again love is off again and it's not ever coming back. Felt like I've watched life collapse upon her over the years and the frailty left is unimaginable. Her mind is broken and the basket case that was in front of me wasn't the person I once knew.
Sad isn't it? Alone again. It's my go to special move. At least I'm content with a bottle of tequila and a vape full of sweet nothingness. My mind wanders into the realms of dark reasoning and I notice that the cold black sheets of rain are at least warmer.
I'm not beaten. I've accomplished much this year so far and I've cut a lot of dead weight in my wake.
I've met someone new and I try to be open minded and positive but people always let you down. It's proven over and over.
I'm not buzzed enough to deal with this bullshit but...
Today is another day.

Into The Reaping

Once you have a near death experience everything changes. I cannot see anything the same. I realize there will never be enough hours in the day, days in the week, weeks in the month, or months in a year. Life rushes by and you reach out and feel it like wind through your fingertips. It's fleeting yet the most beautiful moments always escape us far too soon.
I'm expendable. I'm humble in that realization. I'm humbled by the sheer magnitude of the ever fleeting moment. I'm a speck in a colossal debris field and I only found myself once I allowed my ego to wither and die.